Tuesday, October 7, 2008

Notes From Within

If you have read the last few entries...you know that I have been struggling with the decision of whether to blog my "real" thoughts and feelings or to continue the self imposed censorship that has created part of my "writer's block" of late. And then sometimes we have chaos theory...you know when the butterfly flutters on the other side of the world and affects the weather right here...in our own backyard...and so sometimes it is FATE that forces a hand and takes the decision out of the conscious mind and into the heart....for the mind ponders and worries and censors...whereas the heart just writes...the good, the bad, and the ugly.

And so as you may have noticed from the tone of recent entries that I decided to let the heart lead...not that the censor is not still there...pondering and worrying lest you dear readers think I have lost my mind....let me assure you....I have not....but when the mind is full and the heart is too...it is easy to spill powerful emotion into the written word...to give voice to the barest and deepest of human yearning, pain, wonder, and all other manner of emotion.

As for me....I am still pondering, still lost, and still trying to discover whether the cage is really going to be enough to contain me...this go around....for when one is young and foolish...it is easy to be confined....but when one reaches my age it is more difficult...even a self imposed prison is hard to maintain. So I will blog it....searching as always for answers to questions that plague me...questions that honestly some people NEVER ask or quite frankly NEVER even know exist...they are just outside their awareness....lucky ones (perhaps)..they are the birds that do not even know they are in the cage!

2 comments:

LisaW said...

I'm reading. And I have been thinking of you.

You will make it through this trying time.

You, and only you, are responsible for your destiny. You will come to the right conclusions, and you will choose the right course.

In the meantime, we are here for you.

(((hugs)))

starflake said...
This comment has been removed by the author.

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