Tuesday, January 25, 2011

Something...

Today I've had this nagging sensation that something is just not as it should be. Perhaps it's just a bit of post Christmas blues or winter doldrums. I'm not sure...just a sense of uneasiness, a twinge of sadness, and a feeling that something needs "fixing" but what?

Have you ever wondered about moods and how they seem to slip into our lives and upset the balance that we try to achieve. Once I wrote about feeling like something was hurtling at me through the darkness, just outside the range of my consciousness....I proposed that thing was another me...in another dimension....coming dangerously close to colliding with the me in this dimension. Well.....it seemed like a good explanation at the time. lol

This doesn't feel like that. This is different. A frustration that I can't "fix things" for all the people I love and care about. You know...make their worlds perfect for them or at least better. A sense of emptiness at the many sad things that happen in the world today. A realization that they can happen to anyone at any time....and this in turn creating a sense of fear. Most of the time I can shield myself from such thoughts but at times they seep into my veins and course through me creating a not very pleasant feeling. It leads to a sense of humble feebleness....a dawning of the truth....I am not really in control here....life ebbs and flows and rumbles along at it's own pace and with its own direction.

I need to go to bed, to sleep away the fears, the sense that I am but a speck in a never ending universe of life.....to drift into the darkness of my dreams where all things are possible. To let my mind relax into the soft cushion of possibilities.

For the quest continues....even when one is weary and thinks the course too rough and too long.  Anything we do is not without dangers....and set backs...and most of all questions....the hows and whys and whens of life rest quiet nicely with the whats and wheres. Nestled together in the nest of life...they wait.

So dear readers....I leave you ....perhaps tomorrow I shall be more enlightening....for tonight the riddles lay thick upon my mind like the morning dew that drenches the grass.

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