Wednesday, August 14, 2013

My Last First Day

So you had to would hear from me today. I was assuring my friend, Cresia Stark that I wasn't going to post pictures, post on Facebook, and blog EVERY single day about my last year...but surely The Last First Day is worthy of a post.
So last year when Evan was in Kindergarten we printed a first day of school sign and he had his picture taken with it..."My First Day in Kindergarten" Of course we wanted to do that again this year.....
Isn't he that got me to thinking I needed my own sign...
Everyone asks..."how does it feel?". It feels surreal. It feels bittersweet. . Like I can't remember an August in my lifetime where I haven't been exhausted, had trouble falling asleep, and felt keyed up. This year is no different.  Thousands of things swirling in my mind, crossing my path during the day, and bidding for my attention. Yet at the same time...different. It's easier to be calm when it's your last first day You might as well make the best of it because it's not coming this way again. Embrace it even among frustration.
So as I stood in the hallway on Day felt like deja vu. Well it is...I have stood here before and each year blends into another until it's really hard to pull them apart and keep them as individual years. Most of my career is divided into my Kindergarten Years and my Counselor Years. With a few other random ones in there for good measure. Each year has the same sense of anticipation, the same roller coaster ride thrills, the same days where you might just scream, along with tears, and laugher, and a sense of how much bigger life's picture is then we know.
The whole "when we do this next year" saga has begun. You know where you say you are going to take note of what didn't work and do it differently next year when in reality by the time next year rolls around you forget what it was you wanted to do differently. When I hear those words however, I realize that I will not be here planning, implementing, questioning and organizing "next year." I find that "it's ok".  I don't fact it is rather liberating. I find that there are other things I am looking forward to instead. Many have asked about boredom or feeling isolated...maybe I'm wrong but I'm not worried about that.
Well that's enough for today....I'll be seeing you again soon as more days roll by and more thoughts surface. It is bittersweet but at the same time this year feels like a celebration of something....not sure what....perhaps as the year goes by I'll be better able to define it.

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