So today's post is supposed to be about my September life goals....you know like the sheet I showed you last month for August....I divide it into different areas of life...like spiritual, hobbies, marriage etc. Then I set a little monthly goal in each area. I like it, it works even if half the time I don't get to the goal....at least it keeps me thinking about life....and ALL aspects of life...not letting one area overwhelm or suffocate the others.
But today I'm being moody...and I'm not in the goal setting mood. Why am moody? I haven't a clue really...life is pretty much "ok" right now. Well, of course, there are things that could go a bit better but all in all...not bad.
I've written before about how sometimes I get struck with this odd sense of uncertainty, anxiety, or just blah-ness. Sometimes its as if something is right on the edge of my consciousness but I can't quite "see" it. As if there is something lurking there that I really should be paying attention to but I can't quite grasp it. It's really affecting me because usually September and October are my most energetic months and I am just not "feeling it".
I think I'm physically tired and that doesn't help but its more than that....I'm psychologically tired....and that is not as easy to solve. I think I need more "down time" and that means "shutting off the brain too" NOT just sitting down. I know I need more creative time....that is such a rewarding, reflective time. I also need more time to meditate, work with the cards, and just reflect on life. Instead I find tension...inside me....waiting to pounce....on what or when? I do not know.
Sometimes I'm like a sponge too, absorbing the energy from those around me and when they are having bad times, negative life events or just the blahs themselves...I tend to pick up on it. It reminds me of the "sin eater". The person in the village who came to the wake and "ate the sins" of the deceased so they could ascend to heaven. But when the sin eater dies...no one really wanted to eat his sins because he had already absorbed so many from all that had passed before him. It is a burden the sin eater carries. Sometime I feel the burden too....because I am so sensitive to the energy of others.
Well enough of the whine....I'm sure I'll be back soon with a much more lively and energizing post. Cheers....
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