Tuesday, September 17, 2013

Why It's Impossible to "Not Care."

Yes that's another goofy picture of me from Spirit Week....(yeah me!) 
Today I asked myself a question: "Why do you care?"  Like I was slightly, yes only slightly annoyed over something at work. I thought "why do you care?"  It didn't really impact me and not many others seemed to care or at least they didn't say much about it. So why even bother to question things? Why even speak what's on my mind?  It would seem it should be easy to just "let things go." After all I'm not going to be around the school that much longer so in the end does it matter?
First let me say the little thing that annoyed me made me realize a  "fear" . That fear is perhaps that these little things are only the tip of the iceberg. That it somehow indicated (and it still may) a much larger issue of communication and collaboration. It also made me question whether we are making decisions lightly without looking at all aspects. But perhaps it is me that over analyzes. Maybe it doesn't really matter in the end.
I'm always a little bit of the devils advocate. Questioning, challenging, examining, clarifying. I'd have less stress if I just "didn't care."  All I can say is that it's not my human nature to just "oh well" things. My intention is not disrespect for decisions that are made, or to be a trouble maker, or to be uncooperative. It is simply to ask, think, to seek to be a catalyze for change that is grounded. Most people don't. Either out of fear or perhaps because they think their opinions make no difference in the overall scheme of things. Well, nine times out of ten, nay maybe nineteen times out of twenty, mine don't either. What about that one time though.
The world is lacking people that care, just for the sake of caring, whether they have an invested interest in it or not. The world needs questioners, challengers, and yes sometimes even "trouble makers". Are we to be like lemmings, with no real sense of who we are nor where we are going?
It's  as impossible for me to "not care" as it is for me to not breath. Even when it doesn't really touch me. Letting go of caring about people, a work place or a community seems unnatural to me. And when I say "not caring" I don't mean about hugely important things...I mean even about the small things. In my mind the real growth is in the small things. In many ways its easy to make a decision about BIG things because we ponder those, ask for ideas, seek collaboration, and examine closely our decisions. It is in the small things that we sometimes stumble.
Well, I'll try harder to let the water roll by me while I sit on the bank in the shade and enjoy the lovely autumn days. All I can say is "I'll try".  Cheers....see you again soon for more last year thoughts!

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